Good Morning, and welcome to the Institute for Further Studies, where further study always requires additional funding.
This morning, we are looking into several interesting news stories which may offer the opportunity for further study and additional funding.
First, there is the disturbing report that
divorce is bad for the environment. It would appear that the researchers are assuming that two can live as cheaply as one. Clearly, these people have never been married. Moreover, there is a disturbing suggestion that this is yet another attempt to force an outmoded morality on the majority of Americans, making them stay married in order to thwart environmental disaster. An alternative hypothesis would be that a bad marriage is an environmental disaster in itself -- think of the extra liquor bottles and increased consumption of prescription drugs -- that is best ended as soon as possible. Further study is called for.
In addition, there are news stories that suggest the government has been wrong, about several major issues in both foreign and domestic affairs. This will be news to many Americans and should be investigated carefully. Other news stories claim that the television season is in danger because of a writer's strike. This suggests that many television shows actually have writers -- an unsubstantiated claim that would appear to be false. Further study is called for.
Finally, it appears that the attempt to claim a national championship in college football is failing this year due to the lack of a playoff system and because many top teams are losing games. Clearly, someone must be to blame -- probably a coach -- but once again, further study will be required to tease out all the different options and possibilities.